What to wear for a lunch wedding...?

We have our first question: 'Recently I was invited to a lunch time wedding, there was no note about how to dress on the invite, it was at the yacht club in a lovely location near lots of bush and I wasn't sure if a large wide brimmed hat was ok to wear?'

Many people do not understand that it is necessary to indicate 'dress' on formal invitations.  If the invitation is written, then expected dress standards and gift expectations (even if one is not required), should be included to save the guests any embarassment.  This is true of weddings, christenings, or any event that has a formal written invitation. 

We attended a lovely lunchtime wedding some years ago where the couple were kind enough to include 'ladies are encouraged to wear hats' in the invitation.  Many of the guests went to a great deal of trouble with their headwear - very chic!  To that wedding, I wore a black, wide-brimmed hat with a cream and black skirt suit.  I still have the hat and intend to wear it - with a pink suit - to an event during the racing season this year.This is complex, so I will go into invitations and responses in another post.

In terms of the outfit, you were completely correct, Monika, wearing a wide brimmed hat to the lunchtime wedding.  A 'lunch event' should be held between midday and 3pm.  For ladies, a wide brimmed hat is perfect - straw for Spring and Summer or wool/felt for the colder months.  When deciding on your hat, do keep the other guests in mind as large decorations or brims may make it difficult to see past you, or sit next to you at the lunch table.

Ensure that the brim does not tip down over your face too much as it will be uncomfortable to meet friends with a kiss on the cheek if you are required to position yourself in uncomfortable ways to compensate for the hat.  This is also true of hats with pointy decorations and veiling. 

For those who do not like brimmed hats, a fascinator may be worn to a lunchtime wedding.  Keep in mind, however, that cocktail hats are only to be seen during the cocktail hour, that is, after 5:00pm and before 8:00pm.

In terms of the matching outfit, a dress or suit would be lovely.  At a lunch event, it is important to keep the length at knee or mid-calf length, not long or too short.  There are many options to choose from, even considering a light coloured pants suit with a great hat can look fabulous!  I suggest matching a colour in your hat, to your shoes and handbag.  That way the colour is carried through and you can wear the ensemble with other dresses or suits, to other events.  It may be worthwhile asking the bride what the colour theme is, so that you do not clash or blend in.  Of course, white is never a good idea at weddings (unless you're the bride) but white, with lots of other bright colours, is always very chic.

Finally (so that your partner is always able to keep himself nice), gentlemen should wear a suit and tie, or a suit with an open necked shirt, to a lunchtime wedding.  They should never wear a tuxedo before 5pm, or a morning suit (grey tails with black striped pants and cravat) after 11am.  This is always a complex issue, which I can deal with in another posting.

I hope that has helped, Monika.  Thank you for your question - it was a delight to answer.

Until next time,
Ms S.

Thoroughly modern manners...

Over the past few years I have been approached by friends who, as senior businesswomen and consultants, have been confused by 'modern manners' and what really is acceptable in contemporary society.  I have, whenever possible, given the best advice I could. 

I do admit that I have a slightly old-fashioned view on manners.  I believe, wholeheartedly, that good manners add to a civil society and without them we are lost.  I am not suggesting we go back to Victorian times where even the legs of pianos were covered for fear of offending someone, however, a quick scan of music videos is enough to give me palpatations!

So, here I am.  Your on-line, thoroughly modern manners expert.  I plan to use this 'blog' to post observations and ideas that may help you traverse the complexities of the business world, but also encourage questions and suggestions for topics.  I will, always, do my very best to provide you with researched answers and ideas, in addition to any resources that you may find useful.  So, please, if you have any questions, please add them to this post and I will respond, toot sweet.

Until next time,
yours affectionately.

Ms S.